dear march

ok, fine, if you're going to rain, just get it over with now. I don't want to see this crap in July.

Kind wishes,
Jess

--

also, hm. I might sew some decoy rabbits to a black dress for tomorrow evening. i just hope there aren't any hunters that show up at the fez. ooh that reminds me I need to see if I can find some color fuji peel apart film..this may be tricky as lately im having difficulty finding it in the photo shoppes and im not sure why....black and white is always there but not the color..and it looks really good.. if not though, 'tis ok.

--

also, my usage of text emoticons displaying the 'happy face' has soared recently. id like to state that while this is extremely unfamiliar territory, it's extremely welcome. and nice. I think I've missed out on some things. and the bonus part is that most of the time I end up then smiling IRL. haha, yeah I typed that. but really. see?

:)

ok time to get sushi, I'm treating myself! Thanks tax returns! You were way smaller than I thought!

let me see you stripped down to the bone

i remember playing depeche mode's 'stripped' everytime I got in sight of a keyboard. been listening to it rather obsessively lately, particularly the 'highland mix' version as its a bit darker, slower, and in a sense, romantic as hell, or at least it conjures up those feelings for me. as well as much minimal 1980s synth from france, and it goes without saying, kraftwerk has made a huuuuuuge comeback in my little cd player and record player lately, and that my dears is a very good sign im relatively happy.

also, GODDAMNIT, someone has posted a 4x5 burke and james monorail camera w/ lens AND polaroid 545 back on craigslist for $150.00. They are up the road in lexington. this is very cheap. right before I checked the ol' camera listings, I dropped some money on the new monochromatic film + more fadetoblack film PLUS maybe more polaroid chocolate film, I can't remember if I threw that in there... how impulsive, as usual. I have sold some things on ebay that made more money than I thought, so its sort of like....its just getting recycled. however, this makes traveling a little more difficult.

other nice things are happening too. ive been dancing a lot more lately. and shooting polaroids every day, and walking around late at night, and catching myself smiling a lot more.

ok. back to work and checking on the live owl box web cam feed.

"I rejoice that there are owls. Let them do the idiotic and maniacal hooting for men. It is a sound admirably suited to swamps and twilight woods which no day illustrates, suggesting a vast and underdeveloped nature which men have not recognized. They represent the stark twilight and unsatisfied thoughts which all [men] have." - henry david thoreau

also, im really looking forward to thee fez tonight. lately i feel like a moth who REALLY finds itself immersed in those red lights... it seems those lights are serving better guidance than the moon. also, the company of some particularly intriguing people.

i haven't really written much of note lately so here's a brief bit before I meet up with a couple friends.

i have a favorite phrase. or maybe it's a part of one. "when you least expect it".

i took photos, obtained 2 cameras, fished through life magazine for a long time, spent $6.00 on amazing postcards, sent the russians to sneak up on the german forces but that one didn't work out too well so instead I flew a kite that I keep in my car for times like that when I'm again by myself, trekked up to providence, found something rad at the fucking goth store, trekked to the apartment where there was a lot of kids here, threw a lot of stuff in my hair, off to tt the bears and watch a strange crowd. dj chris ewen did play depeche mode which i enjoyed and that other 80s tune thats REALLY good and I cant remember the name. also lady gaga which again, I still don't get.... later a dear friend and I watched a cat circle around the block a bunch. he guards this particular part of cambridge.

spring is off to a really nice start. Im getting out more. the desire to be around people, particularly those I care about or moreso wish to see a lot more is surprisingly high, unlike last spring/summer, which was fantastic but acceptingly lone-wolf. hm.

ok, i need to eat something and call my cat.

"I have spit my pitch gum out of my mouth onto her walls and floors and sometimes onto her booths."

Episode 28, Log Lady Introduction:

(Holding log directly in front of her, instead of the usual position cradled in her arms.)

"A log is a portion of a tree. (Turning end of log to camera.) At the end of acrosscut log--many of you know this--there are rings. Each ring represents one year in the life of the tree. How long it takes to grow a tree!

"I don't mind telling you some things. Many things I, I mustn't say. Just notice that my fireplace is boarded up. (She glances over her right shoulder at the fireplace and the camera moves over to it, where we see the opening covered by plywood.) There will never be a fire there.

"On the mantelpiece, in that jar, are some of the ashes of my husband. (Camera pans up to the mantel where we see a vase, a pipe stand, and some old pictures--none recognizable.)

(Camera pans down to Log Lady.) "My log hears things I cannot hear. But my log tells me about the sounds, about the new words. Even though it has stopped growing larger, my log is aware."

yes yes yes

mars

my little scottish spy here. im going through mars withdrawl! but fortunately my camera is here and it still has video and photos of her. she's the bestest.