during an extremely windy night, post-cat nap.

there's a typewriter case on my bed.

one major perk about my occupation is that I have access to the internet all day. While this time and time again has proved more than a distraction, I could wizz through the day getting a lot of work done as long as I was listening to a This American Life podcast. I've missed it for the last couple months or so and to my dismay it had stopped downloading automaticallly in my itunes like 4 or 5 times so I'm missing some, but fortunately you can listen to all of them on their website.
I had all of season 1 and pt of season 2 on my computer before that died. But the last episode I watched was the John Smith one and woah did tears come out.
So while I have a bit of time to be awake I'm going to attack netflix and watch some more of season two. I hope Ira comes out to do the show in Massachusetts soon, he came out like 3 times last year and I missed it every time.

In other news, neti pots are a fucking dreamboat for the nose! I was just informed about this recently. I might go get my neti pot fix in before bed. It's so wonderful.

In other other news, it's almost the end of January!!! That means like, one more month and then I can start looking forward to the return of birds and some better weather. I haven't been exercising in over 3 weeks and its starting to make me feel like a big block of crap so today I lifted some exorcise in the living room. I do have some winter bike clothing now except for maybe a shirt (but i did have a shirt somewhere?) but regretfully its going to snow tomorrow. Regardless, I'm catsitting for Mars (!!!) and grizzelda in westport this weekend so Im going to bring my bike down and hopefully it won't snow and I'll get in a ride through westport and not die.

What else.

My dear friend Stu asked me online "Hey, can I ask you a personal question? Is buying condoms in bulk online kind of creepy? Its just cheaper that way." This made me laugh. Then he sent me a video of some Japanese game show with a Japanese guy who was pretending to be Louis Armstrong....who had a painted black face. And then said he ordered Japanese condoms, for "they weren't made with child labor and don't have lead in them." I asked if it was because of this guy on the Japanese game show and he said yes.

twin peaks deer

IMG_1415
Originally uploaded by jess elias

ps

i took a walk and photographed this crow, who eventually flew off with a group of 3 others to chase after a red tail hawk, i couldn't get my camera out of my stupid pockets in time.

also, here's me last night waiting for the red line T and not getting killed by a man wielding a machete (see previous post).

fuck you, Bank of America.

so I get a call last night from my mom close to midnight.

"Hello, could I borrow some money from you?" she asks in a very sad tone.

Apparently the bank has shut off my parents' line of credit on their house. They decided that their house was worth now less than half of what it is by holding the original amount on the line of credit against the house, and well, took it away. Without warning, at all. She called yesterday to frantically inquire and they said 'well we sent you a letter on the 20th, but we also have the right to pull the line without warning, here's a form to fill out online if you believe it should be reinstated'

The 20th was two days ago.

I'm livid and pissed off at the bank, and I really think now that the government should have just let all these banks fail and fall to shit, because obviously bailing them out in the billions didn't do what it was supposed to.

And in other news!!!! My manager drove me home from work last night and dropped me off at the Andrew T stop on the redline. Everything was fine aside from the crazy family + insane man in my t-car...until we got to Harvard Square and they woudln't let anyone off or on the train due to a "police incident". For 20 minutes. It turns out someone was running around Harvard Square with a machete.

hm.
ever just thought about something you haven't thought about in like, uh, well, 5 years?
regardless. ive stunned myself.
i have a little political speech later that i was working on sort of post-election and i spent a lot of time reading the comments section on npr's page following the results. it may or may not get posted.
today i retreated lijke a hermit crab at work and after work and just sunk in my own thoughts which are endless. wandered around boston post voting. wished i had an ipod again because it would block out mindless conversation. i think im getting winter fever. tomorrow will be much like today i think. aaaaagh. shit. only tomorrow i hope to have more time to look at post-atomic-explosion sites and strange video clips...today involved a lot of work and a lot of stress. whatever, i should stop bitching. there's a lot of south park to be watched.

Accordingly, Doctor

"Would you find, because the defendant was mentilaly ill at the time he committed this offense and that he could not substantially appreciate the conduct of his acts, the defendant to be guilty or innocent?"

I'm listening to The Birthday Party.

i never thought you'd be a junkie because heroin is so passe

so last night keanne and I went to a shoegaze-postpunk-goth/twin peaks themed evening at thee red fez in providence. she asked "What should I wear" and I said "uh, black?" and that was brilliant.

i wore a black dress with my 'the owls are not what they seem' twin peaks giant patch from an old tshirt and a black sweater and black chucks, i got compliments on the dress from this fellow in a fantastic suit named john i met who was spinning a lot of the shoegaze tunes in the beginning. I think this is also the john that ed mentions also adores twin peaks. so this was a very rad place to meet him. i drank a lot of cherry flavored drinks. keanne drinks alcohol super quick like a camel or something. anyway, it was nice to get out and be around a lot of people in a very visually intriguing bar. we admired all the taxidermy, i got to talk to ed and sarah for a while about birds of prey, ed's weirdo sister with the one arm, falconry, twin peaks, and the mighty boosh, it was rad. yes we danced. this was fun, a lot of intriguing people were there. ex from 2000 and ex from 2005 were there which was interesting.

I have at the moment a huge headache that's occured all day. My roommates cat is sitting on the batman blanket on my bed so I took some photos of her paws. This in turn made me miss mars to the extreme. I know mars has been keeping watch over my parents house, eyeing birds, and making my mom happy, but mars's real mother here in somerville has been feeling a little empty-hearted and a bit lonesome due to a lack of kittenage. shes my partner in crime. so, I really think I need to make some arrangements and have a chat with roommates about the inclusion of my little bunny here. she's already almost 7 years old and I feel like the last 2 years i havent seen her nearly enough. oh man this is actually really starting to bum me out. i feel like a bad cat mother but then again not having mars subjected to the living situations ive been in and instead had one comfortable place to be while I try and deal is a little more soothing to me. I think my next voicemail is just going to be mars...meowchirping or purring. that fucking cat means more to me than anything.

ANYWAY........what should I do when I get back my tax return money? It's going to be over $3000.00 - which is kind of cool. Here's what Im thinking:

NCO - fuck you, but this would get you off my back.
$1000.00 to current credit card bill, $800.00 of which was for car. yeah, this probably has to happen.
$3000.00 worth of polaroid film. HAHAHA! how ridiculous would this be? Oh I would do it.
a mamiya 7ii. like, $1000.00. But I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally shouldn't...but..but............BUT.



a vacation. hello aurora borealis in alaska, lets set the stage for some dreams.
or eastern europe and your magical, mysterious appeal.
or a very small town in Russia. this I'd love.
or 100 miles east of las vegas.
or floating down the mississippi in a swanboat.
or the dakotas (if they have raptor rehab centers)
or down south to take part in a civil war reinactment. I keep re-thinking about this again......
or to birmingham alabama and hang out at the bottletree.

and daydreaming interrupted! kate just said that joe's sister is obsessed with pauly from the jersey shore. cats my dogs.....

I was obsessed over this for EVER.


IQ ZOO

The world is getting weirder.

(From Pravda.Ru - thanks to Mike Valle for sending me the weirdest fucking news ever).

Sheep Gives Birth to Human-Faced Lamb in Turkey

A sheep gave birth to a dead lamb with a human-like face. The calf was born in a village not far from the city of Izmir, Turkey.

Erhan Elibol, a vet, performed Cesarean section on the animal to take the calf out, but was horrified to see that the features of the calf's snout bore a striking resemblance to a human face.

"I've seen mutations with cows and sheep before. I've seen a one-eyed calf, a two-headed calf, a five-legged calf. But when I saw this youngster I could not believe my eyes. His mother could not deliver him so I had to help the animal," the 29-year-old veterinary said.

The lamb's head had human features on - the eyes, the nose, the mouth - only the ears were those of a sheep.

Veterinaries said tha the rare mutation most likely occured as a result of improper nutrition since the fodder for the lamb's mother was abundant with vitamin A, CNNTurk.com reports.

In Zimbabwe, a goat gave birth to a similar youngster in September 2009. The mutant baby born with a human-like head stayed alive for several hours until the frightened village residents killed him.

The governor of the province where the ugly goat was born said that the little goat was the fruit of unnatural relationship between the female goat and a man.

"This incident is very shocking. It is my first time to see such an evil thing. It is really embarrassing," he reportedly said. "The head belongs to a man while the body is that of a goat. This is evident that an adult human being was responsible. Evil powers caused this person to lose self control. We often hear cases of human beings who commit bestiality but this is the first time for such an act to produce a product with human features," he added.

The mutant creature was hairless. Local residents said that even dogs were afraid to approach the bizarre animal.

The locals burnt the body of the little goat, and biologists had no chance to study the rare mutation.

Also read: Russian Woman Gives Birth to Cyclops Baby.




(brilliant).

the phone call.

ugh, not again, because I don't care if they give you a stress ball that's shaped like a brain and a lady that stares in your eyes during the whole ordeal, it still fucking hurts.

from the world of captions

"Never assume a motionless patient is dead."

Well, I would have known that, but I guess it should go in a medical book anyway.

Meanwhile, my friend mike sent me a youtube video called Death Metal Rooster, I immediately thought of my friend Dan and sent it to him, who was freaked out, because 3 other people sent it to him today as well.

I just want to smash it with the sledge hammer you're so pretty....

in dear need of a nap so I guess that's where Im going.
today was okay except that I got in a tiff with a cop who was about to tow my car, and now i have a ticket that he couldn't do anything about. for parking my car, in the correct space, with a permit. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr



a bike ride is imminent today I think but first a much needed nap and then to work on a post card.

well....almost done with that phase

so, in my lifetime thus far, I've lost my atm card maybe about 30 times. At least. Wallet a lot. Cell phone numerous. To the point where Fleet Bank (now bank of america) told me in 2005 that they wouldn't replace my card anymore because I kept losing it, thus I had to switch to a different bank.

Anyway, my wallet is sitting at trader joes, its 11:12pm, I had to turn away my friend Dana from hanging out because I felt like I was going to puke.

I should go get it now, instead of watching Ran. F.

on another note, I ordered nada surf tickets today! which makes me happy. because it'll sell out, and I have tickets already. I win.

so

2009 is gone and now it's 2010. legend of zelda music in the background< i think im going for one more dungeon and calling it quits.

..................................................................................................................

ill leave the rest for the sketchbook.